Friendship VS. Sex-ship

I always believe that men & women are totally different set of creature. From the physical, the god differentiates us well. Mentally, women are more emotional, sentimental and sophisticated; men are straight forward, rational and they have the quality that women don’t have is – they can separate sex & emotions. Some people said that men are able to separate all the eggs in different baskets, while women put all the eggs in a basket, if one doesn’t go well, it will affect others.

R (a very open minded lady with good career prospect in the company) called me today; she told me she has found a sex partner a month ago from the internet who looks like her ex-boy friend. They didn’t interact much before they go to a hotel in downtown. After meeting a couple of times for sex, R started to have the emotional attached with this guy. She expected his SMS everyday, wondering whether he will text her today, or may be will they meet again anytime soon. However she realized that she is the only one felling that way. Because from the man point of view, she is merely his sex partner not she is even a friend. The worst thing is he doesn’t really know what her real name is; he only knows her nick name.

I remembered M told me her experience before. She has a net friend from overseas spending his trip in Malaysia. Due to Malaysian hospitality, she thought that she may bring him for sight seeing and giving him some traveling advices. So she picked him up from the airport and sent him to the hotel. This guy was very good looking and she had no problem having sex with him if the mood was OK. According to M, the whole meeting was not bad, so the sex did happen. Before she left the hotel, they were actually planned to meet again the next day after she finished work. The next morning, M got the message from this guy, the message was saying that he cannot see her anymore, because seeing her was just out of gratitude and it was not fair to her (which I think is bullshit), so he decided to travel alone. What really hurt was, he mentioned that there was no physical attraction after seeing her; he didn’t feel like hugging her. M was very upset, he came twice during the sex and now he told her that she didn’t appeal to him. The sex part was not purposely arranged by her. The major intention meeting up with this guy was all because of “friendship” that she thought they have. You don’t reject a friend because she doesn’t appeal to you, do you?

From a male friend, his name is K. He said he loves women so much therefore he cannot afford to settle down with a woman. He told me the reason why he need to change his sex partner, because when he spends more time with a girl, she will request more and more after that. So when the girl requests more, he will cut her off from his life. He told me, girls will always ask for more and she will start to look for more commitment from a man after sleeping with him. Women always want to get more focus and they tend to get jealous, then the man started to get questions and problems after that. All of these “qualities” of women “force” him to change his partner every season. Obviously, I do not see any “friendship” in him and his sex partner. Everything he planned or did is merely for great sex, like wonderful dinner, nice wine, good movie, etc.

Sometimes, I realized that women are looking for a soul mate or so called “friend” instead of just sex partner. This guy is not necessary have to be her boy friend or husband, just someone they can talk and share life; of course they also could fulfill their sexual desire once in a while.

But for men, they do not need a soul mate; they just need a sex partner. They can just f*** without any talking or communication.

The intention of a man and woman is different here. For a woman, friendship always comes first; for men, sex-ship comes first. Without sex, women can still be friend with the man (unless he is very annoying in person). For some men, no sex = no talk. They talk to you when they want sex.

I believe men are rational when they are dealing with their sex partner. If you are the sex partner category, you will forever in it. You will not be able to switch your role to the potential girl friends category or even the “friends” category. For women, sex partner can be potential boy friend or best friend. Because women will not simply sleep with any guys they picked up on the street. She has to like him in a way.

I agree that women are more emotional driven, men are more sexually driven. Men know how to separate sex & emotions; sometimes I really amaze how men actually can do that…