Girlfriend ≠ Best friend?

Yesterday, after work we went for a drink in a coffee shop at downtown KL. My friend, Wen was sharing with us regarding a TV talk show that he watched recently, it was about a mid age artist sharing her view on love relationship. She was saying that sometime in a love relationship, the couple needs to be best friends besides being the lovers. After all the excitement at the beginning of a relationship, you need more than love to make the relationship lasting.

I’m totally agreed about this.

I’ve been thinking about this for long time. I was wondering, why a couple can never be friends. Sometime, man will have a few best friends who are girls, they will usually sit down and talk about the man’s problems, they will share their opinions about relationships, let the man knows what the perceptions of woman, complaints about their girl friends, blah blah blah.

The question is why the man cannot share this with his girl friend? Even if he has a tolerate girl friend?

Example A:-

Man, named John, he told his female friend, Zay that he has a crush on his new trainee in the office today. The young fresh girl seems to be very naïve and doesn’t even avoid him after knowing him is attaching with some one now. But why can’t John tell this incident to the girl friend? Will the gf really get upset after that? Or may be the gf can handle this like a friend?

Example B:

A girl, named Jean, is meeting up her net friend without letting her boy friend knows about it. She tells the story to one of his closest friend. So if she really telling this to her bf about this; will the bf be generous and say “Oh! How nice! No worries, baby! Enjoy yourself tonight!” or he will just pretend to be generous, he will start checking the gf and ask “So? Is your net friend calling you again today?”

Example C: (I think this is the most common example)

Man, Mr. C called one of his so called “best friend” who is a girl named Yann to complaint about his job, unreasonable boss, his selfish girl friend, monetary problems, blah blah blah. Why can’t the man open up his heart and share his problems with the girl friend?

Can girlfriend also be your best friend? Can you your problem with your partner? Work, relationship, financial, health, etc. Why you only share your problems with your best friend but not your partner? After all the sweet talking, praising each other, when both of you come back to the reality, will you tell your partner something deeply in your heart? How many man and woman can actually treat their partner like a friend?

All these yeas, I’m trying to be a very understanding and tolerate girl friend, I’m trying to make myself like a friend to my boy friend. But I believe that we are human, we will take it for granted. It is not easy to treat your partner like a friend and it has to be happened in both ways. You have to respect each other and not going below his / her bottom line.

I’m still learning…