It’s complicated

"It’s complicated”, is this terms sound familiar to you? I got to know the terms when I first registered on my Friendster account. It appears on the marital status column: Single, Married, Separated, Divorced & It’s complicated. What does “It’s complicated” means? I always thought that relationship is very straight forward, for example:-

When you are still single, no matter you are available or not  Single
When you are married to someone  Married
When you are separated with you partner (not divorced yet)  Separated
When you are divorced with your spouse  Divorced

So when is the time that the relationship becomes complicated?

D is going to get married in 3 months time. Last month, he met Z in a function. Both of them like love at the first sight, they were talking to each other non stop for 6 hours; they have too much to share till they didn’t realized the time flies. Z knows that D is getting married soon, for her, she just need a companion; she doesn’t care whether he is going to get married or not as the main objective is not having D as a permanent partner. However, when the time goes by, this affair slowly turn in to a relationship when they didn’t even realized it. It started to have emotional involved. Z started being upset when D did something to piss her off. They met at least 3 – 4 times a week. They have a permanent place for both of them to spend time together. D never thought of giving up his fiancée as well. He still will be getting married when the time comes, for him; he wants to have both if possible. He even made the statement saying that, if he doesn’t have any fiancée now, he will definitely want Z to be his girl. No one will know what happened in the coming future, sometime they feel guilty, but they just don’t want to think about it. At this moment, they just want to stay in their fantasy world as long as they can.

In order not to be hurt by D when he got married one day, Z is trying to persuade herself that in this relationship, there will be no emotional involved, it started because both of them want to have fun, no string attached, no expectation and no commitment. Like I always agreed, women tends to emotional driven, so is hard for Z to control her emotional sometime. Once in a while, she seems to be very rational but sometime she cried like a baby when D pissed her off. So what Z planned to do now is to dilute her focus on D. She is trying to continue her life on her own like D never exists. To her, D is just like a bonus in her life. Now, she is back in to the market, starts her hunting life again.

Is this what we meant by “It’s complicated”? Yes, for me, it is very complicated. Why human like to complicate things especially relationship. When I was young, I thought relationship suppose to be simple and straight forward. When you like me and I like you, we would love to spend our life together, we are couple. However, things are not as simple as what I think now when I grow older. Is not about black & white anymore, something happens in a grey area.

Sometime you realized, we cannot stand a stable life style for long period of time. We are looking for sparks and climax in our life. When someone is involved in a stable relationship for too long, they will start to find excitement out of their relationship in order to make their relationship last longer.

Is this a human nature which we like to complicate things? Or we get bored easily from a stable relationship?