Delete or not delete?

Early this year, I met a Dutch man (my first Dutch friend), JV who working in Malaysia for 4 months on a special project. He was the first foreign friend that I ever know. We knew each other when he just reached Malaysia.

We went out for a drink after that. I brought him to Sky Bar @ Traders Hotel (One of the nicest bars in Kuala Lumpur which is facing the Twin Towers). The outing was nice and fun. We chatted for couple of hours even though he said he was actually very busy at work. He was fun, humor and very good looking.

When we met, he kissed me 3 times on the cheek and he said this is their Dutch culture. He was new in town, so I offered him to send him back to his hotel. Before he went down from the car, he actually invited me to his room. But, I rejected him. May be I was not ready at that moment. Or perhaps, I was just scared. Then I was thinking may be I will go to his room when we meet for the 2nd time.

For your information, there is no 2nd time. We never meet again.

We chatted once in a while when we met on MSN about Malaysian economy, politics, entertainment, work etc. According to him, he was very busy at work because he only has 4 months time to finish his assignment in Malaysia. After the dateline, he has to go back to his home country.

4 months later after the first meeting, he told me he will be back to Amsterdam by end of May 2008. So I was suggesting, may be we could meet before he left. Who know, by the time I saw him online again, he was already back to Amsterdam. And yet, we were no longer chatting anymore.

So I was THINKING whether I should delete him from my friend list as I may not see him again for the rest of my life. Furthermore, we do not have common topics to chat about after he went back. On the other hand, I was thinking it may make me look bad if I deleted him because I can still keep him as a friend. May be I can visit him if I ever go to Amsterdam for holiday.

After all the thinking, I was nearly forgotten about him. Until today, I was thinking what is he doing recently. I remembered I saw his FB status once that he was leaving to Croatia. So I tried to search his name from my friend list, I couldn’t find him. Then I looked for the old e-mails that he had sent to me and click on his profile.

Guess what…Yes, you got it! He deleted me from his friend list!

I was like “Bloody hell! B**tard!” How could he delete me from his list? (Because I should be the one who delete him, not him). I feel insulted! Although the idea has came to my mind before (whether to delete him or not), but I decided to leave him in my list.

Why? Why he deleted me from his friend list? May be he thought the same as I was thinking? Or may be he thought that I was already in the past, and he is now looking for the future.

I was so angry…

He deleted me from FB, so … I deleted him from MSN. Fair enough, right?

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A friend? Or a man?

After graduated, there is such a long time I never spend time with my friends. Especially when every one of us is busy at work, boyfriend’s birthday, boyfriend’s family gathering, bla bla bla… You know, when you feel not to going out with your friends, you can find have all sorts of reason to reject the outing.

There was one time; we had an ex-schoolmate gathering after 10 years we graduated. The gathering had been postponed for 3 times because is hard to fit everyone’s schedule. At the end up we managed to gather 3 people to attend the gathering, another 1 came very late after we finished the food (If I’m not mistaken, we had 50 over classmates in our class last time)

L said “SK is not here today, she has dinner with her family in laws.”

But, we gathered for lunch!!!

S said “M will be late today; because she has to bring the boyfriend’s doggie to see vet.”

What? Can’t the boyfriend bring the bloody dog to the vet?

J said “Jane cannot come today; she has to stay with her boyfriend.”

You can stay with your boyfriend for the rest of your life if you guys are getting married one day. But how often can you spend time with your friends?

If there will be 4 people attending the gathering, why the hell we need to postpone it for 3 times? Now it makes us look bad, like we are the only 4 people in the world who is so damn free, nothing to do, sitting here for “gathering”.


Is spending time with your friends are a waste of time?

LY said “Talking with friends @ the café is wasting time, because you guys are talking nonsense.”

Hello, these are not nonsense, we are updating each other about what every one’s being up to.

T said “If we are really good friends, we do not need to spend time together and we will still be friends forever.”

Relationship or even friendship is something fragile, if you don’t maintain it, you will miss it. It will be too late when you realized it because you already lost a friend.

B said “Yes, you are my friends, but you guys are just friends, you will never be my boy friend.”

Yes yes… sorry I cannot be your boyfriend, because I don’t have a dick. So man is the only creature you need in your life, then I will consider deleting you from my friend list.

R said “Sorry friend, I cannot have dinner with you tonight, because my net friend, he is in town”

Hey, I’m a good friend of you for the past 10 years; you make me having dinner alone because of a net friend that you barely know. May be you could invite me to have dinner together with you and your net friend or at least you give me another better excuse.

Are those on the above, sounds familiar to you? You got it from a friend or you are the one who treated your friend that way?

Sometimes, as a friend, of course you will hope you friend will live happily. But friends are not someone you only call them when you are sad, they can also share your happiness as well. It is unfair to a friend that you only share your sadness when you got hurt or suffer from the relationship. When the time you realized you need a friend, there will be no more friends in your list, because you have ignored them when you are happily in love with your boyfriend.

For me, friendship is more valuable than a man. The possibility for a man to betray you is much higher than a good friend. I believe that a good friend will stand for you when you really need them, but the most important thing is you have to treat them as a friend, not just companion.

So…
How often you see your friends after you got a boyfriend?
How often you turn down your friend because you want to spend time with your boyfriend?
How often you give a call to your friend after you have a boyfriend?

Miss your friend? Call them now…

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Hey there, How are you?

There was a night; me and my gay “boyfriend”, B went to a dinner. We were sharing our “sexperience” about men; basically he was the one who taught me how to tackle a man. After dinner, he brought me to a pub nearby, he wanna to show me how to do it.

When we talked up from the staircase, we saw a gorgeous man sitting with his friend at the bar table. “The first thing, you have to do is, choose a right man and sitting next to him, it definitely need to be at the bar.”

So we chose to sit next to the gorgeous man. He ordered a bottle of white wine. “It will be better if you ordered champagne, if champagne is too expensive for you, at least you have to order something close to it, like white wine.”

While we were chit chatting and observing the man sitting next to us, the man never even looked at us since we sat next to him. We saw there were 2 girls sitting opposite to us and wearing something very revealing. B said “Don’t ever wear like them when you were out hunting for man because it makes you look cheap and desperate. A simple top with one or two button opened in front of your chest will make a woman look sexy enough.”

After an hour, while we finished the bottle of wine, the man finally turned his face and look at us. Without any further ado, B quickly picked up his wine glass and say “Hey there, how are you?” The man replied “Fine, thanks! How about you?” Then we started the conversation.

He is a doctor who is still under training in one of the local government hospital. B was straight to the point and telling him he is gay and I’m straight, well, both of us are hunting for men. We were observing him whole night. He was surprised and you can see smile on his face, he was proud.

When we finished our wine, he offered both of us a drink. I was a bit drunk and I didn’t think I can drink anymore. B ordered a martini and he ordered a long island tea for me. When B said “Martini, please”, the man impressed about it and say “Gays have very high taste. No matter in fashion, life style and even liquor.”

B was whispered to me “Think a drink as your signature drink that make you look classy. Don’t reject any offer when people want to buy you a drink, just take it. Let it if you can’t finish it!”

B was helping me to tackle the guy, so he said “She is single and you are single too, will you call her out for a drink sometime?” “Sure” the man replied. “But you don’t have her number, how are you going to call her then?” The man quickly took out his phone and key-in my number. And of course he gave me his too.

After a nice conversation, the man has to go. He paid our bill. And he kissed me goodbye.

I really impressed on what a gay man can do. He is 100 times advance than me in terms of hunting man. His tactics and his strategies are all works and useful. May be gay men knows men well, they are same kind anyway.

Finally I realized, “Hey there, how are you?” This is the ice breaking sentence. Is that difficult to say the word “HI” to the man that you found gorgeous? Sometimes, is really difficult, I have to admit it.

Handbook: Man hunting @ the bar
* Step into the bar, and find your target
* Must choose a bar seats as the table seats are more isolated and more like a bunch of friends having some closed session which you don’t welcome any interruption.
* Sit next to your target
* Get your signature drink
* For girls, please don’t order beer unless you are with some of your male friends, because beer will downgrade you. If possible, choose wine, because just the tall wine glass can make you look classy.
* Grab the opportunity when your target is looking at you. You may miss the first time, but when your target is going to look at you for the second time. Grad the opportunity and say ““Hey there, how are you?”
* During the conversation, trying to humor, fun and humble. Show the qualities in you, don’t just trying to act pretty.
* Be smart and intelligent
* Beware on what are you wearing, don’t wear something reveal 80% of your breast. It will make you look desperate and horny.
* Be classy and sexy. No bitchy and slutty

Girls, please try it and let me know whether this is useful to you. Gentleman, please tell me whether these are correct to tackle a man.

ENJOY!!!

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Friend, we miss you so much!!

Today is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday again………

Last time, we have a group of friends like to gather on every Friday. We can sit at Starbucks for few hours just for chit chat. But few weeks ago, M has been diagnosed with cancer and need to go for Chemotherapy treatment soon. We are so sad to hear that.

M is a positive thinking and cheerful lady. She always brings a lot of happiness to us. She is the one among them who can really click with me. Every week when come to Friday, it makes me think about her and miss her.

A friend always likes to tell me ‘life is short’. Yes….life is short. We need to learn how to appreciate the time being together with the people surrounding us, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.............

Hey, friend, hope you recover soon and come back to us on every Friday, we miss you so much!!!!

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Me and my “SPECIAL” ex-boyfriend…

Last weekend, I met my girl friend, L met for a drink. This was the first time we met after she broke up with her boy friend. I feel happy for her, this is not because I want her to be single as I am but she finally gets over a suffered relationship.

I met her @ a nice café in the centre of the city. From far, she looks better and more attractive compared to last time. I cannot see any sadness from her face. I can see she is so over him now.

After a cup of latte, she started to share with me what happened between her and the ex-boy friend: -

Their relationship last for 3 years, after the first year they got together, the boyfriend (Mr. M) started to cheat and flirt around. I still remember how sad she was when she found out Mr. M cheated on her just after a 2D1N trip to Thailand. She was trying very hard to be a nicest girlfriend in the world. She didn’t blame him, and she pretended nothing happened because she loved him, cannot afford to lose him.

She has been through the same issue for 3 times. From hurt badly till she had immune. But each time when she got hurt, she started to let go slowly. Finally, the last time, she decided this will be the last time, she deserved a better man.

L is happier right now. Mr. M treated her better than before when they were couple. He bought her gift when ever he traveled to overseas. He will ask her out once in while for dinner, movie, concert, etc. Even though L bumped into him in a shopping mall holding a girl’s hand, he never admits he has a new girl friend. Anyway, who cares whether he has a new girl friend as long as she feels happier now. At least she is treated like a princess. Now, she is not the one who suffered, is the new girl friend.

So I wonder, man (or many be human) tends to appreciate someone / something after losing it. Why? Why we cannot appreciate and hold on to whatever we are having now? But why Mr. M will treat L better than last time when they were couple? May be he regrets or he feels guilty?

Men are a weird creature. They can be cute and nice sometimes, but sometimes they can also be horrible and bad. Men like to be adventurous sometimes, I realized. They don’t like the happily ever after, they like complicated relationship. They will not satisfy with a normal, stable relationship; they need excitement, fun and flirt. The girls out there are always better than the one at home. May be they just like the feeling of being needed by different women? Or may be they just wanna grab as much “cares” as possible from different women?

My conclusion:
Sometimes, we have a boyfriend who doesn’t do his part, for example, he doesn’t care, he flirts, and he cheats. But sometimes do you realize that we may have a male friend who do exactly what a boyfriend does, who treats you like a girlfriend, he cares, he pays attention on you? In this case, you prefer to have a boyfriend who doesn’t care or you would like to have a male friend who cares?

So is the “BOYFRIEND” labeling important? I confuse…

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When a man says “I Love you”

Today, J met her Latino lover, Mr. SG. They are not couple or even in a serious relationship but they had sex. In short, they are F**king Buddies a.k.a FuBu. Both of them basically have a common understanding that both of them are do not ready to have a steady relationship. They had sex for couple of time, they are happy with what they have right now. However, they are never interfering each other personal life; they just enjoy whatever happened in this moment.

This afternoon, after the romantic and loving moment n the bed, Mr. SG requested a massage from J. Mr. SG enjoys massage, or may be he loves the massages given by J. While Mr. SG was enjoying his massage, suddenly he said “oh! I love you so much…”

At first J was not sure whether she heard what he said, so she just ignored it or may be he just loves massages so much. Then Mr. SG repeated the same sentence again, this time, J heard it clearly. But she just kept quite because she didn’t know how to response to him.

Then, Mr. SG looked in to her eyes and asked her, “Do you love me too?” J was shocked, and she was speechless.
Mr. SG said “You need to think about it? You Don’t Love me? Oh! You don’t love me at all!!!” Then he put his head underneath the pillow and wanted J to give me more massages and J whispered “I hope I can really love you”.
J called me after that and shared with me about what’s happened.

I was wondered for a real player, he must be very careful on what he said, because what he said are giving false hopes to a woman who slept with him before. Previously, he just said “I like you… I miss you … I miss your body…” but he never said “I love you”. Does he mean that? Or he said it because he really love the massages provided by J? J told me, Mr. SG said “I Love you” twice within 2-hour when they met.

The rational side of J understands how to play the game, but the emotional side of her, is hoping that what Mr. SG said was truly from the deepest of his heart. Sometimes, or most of the time, girls are more emotional driven; sex is not their priority in the hierarchy chart, what they need most is care and love. As for J, she was delighted after that, because now her heart is full of love.

So when a man says “I Love you”, does he really mean it?


The definition of I LOVE YOU:-
From Wiktionary: -

• An affirmation of affection or deep caring especially to a family member.
• An affirmation of romantic feeling to a lover or spouse.
• A platonic expression of inclination or liking to a friend.
  

From Wikipedia: -

• Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.
  

From Cambridge dictionaries: -

• Love (LIKE SOMEONE) to have strong feelings of affection for another adult and be romantically and sexually attracted to them, or to feel great affection for a friend or person in your family
  
  

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You have got a mail....

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I’m gonna do is to log on to the internet. Facebook has already become the most important sites that I have to log in a few times a day.This morning, I got a surprise message from a girl, she wrote: -  

July, 04 at 7:10am
Dear Ms. J,  

Hello, I saw you in JF's friend list. Me too. About 1 month ago I was in his friend list too. He was very nice at first and he invited me to meet him in KL. I thought that he was a good man so I decided to meet him and sleep with him for 3 nights, but after that he started to ignore me.

So if he ever wants to meet you, please reject him and don’t trust anything he said. This is for your own good because what he wants is just sex.Take care.  

From,
Ms. A

I was a little surprise when I read the message because I think that JF is an attractive guy (but I never chat with him before). JF is a pilot (because he was wearing the pilot uniform in his photo), good looking French man. He has all the characteristics of the dream guy that most of the girls wanted so much:-

• French man (one of the most romantic lovers in the world)
• Pilot (WOW! Pilot, who doesn’t want to marry to a pilot)
• Single (35-year-old single man, apart from the family, staying alone in Malaysia)

I can say JF is a man who is irresistible! Most of the women would love to be with him. After reading the message, I decided to brush my teeth and clean my face, to make sure that I am totally awake, then I sit in my working desk again to reply her message, I replied: -

July, 04 at 9:11am  
Dear Ms. A,  

First of all, I would like to thank you for your kind reminder. He really seems to be a nice (from his photo)But I just wanna know, are you just sent the message to me? Or u sent it to every one in his list?  

Best Regards,
J  

At 2:50pm, I got the message from Ms. A again; she answered “Yes. I sent the message to the girls from his list”.Sometimes, we have no choice to believe on what the old Chinese proverbs say “Don’t ever make a woman mad at you; you will never know what the ladies will do for revenge”. 

I think this attractive JF is a serious shit now, because we never know who is in his list, some of them may be friends & family, working counterparts, colleagues, business partners, and now everyone in the list knows he is a player. It may cause him into troubles. I think when he decided to f*** the girl, he never thought that this will gonna happened to him.  

However, I think this happened both ways, the girl may be just too naïve to believe a foreigner. When she decided to sleep with him, she should have prepared for the worst. I believe that things happened because both of them wanted it to happen, so the girl will also need to responsible on what’s happened to her. She should not just accuse the man. This is the nature of this “GAME” and don’t forget, every game has the rules that you have to follow.  

What I can say to Ms. A is “WELCOME TO THE ADULT’S WORLD”!

 If JF really invited me out for date, do you think I should go?

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When you realized more and more of your male friends are gays…

How would you feel when you realized more and more men around you are gay?

I went to a birthday party of a friend recently. Only 10 of us in the group, after a few shots of liquor, I found out that the 3 men out of 10 people, there is only a “REAL” cock. 2 of them are “WOMEN”.

There was a Saturday, my friend and I were sitting at the coffee house in the town, if you are able to observe, more and more gay guys are walking on street especially those smart looking ones. The funniest thing is, both of us are late twenties single woman, now we realized why are we still single! We are not attractive enough…

Since when more and more men have converted themselves into gay?

Mr. D says “I know I’m a gay since I was 12 yrs old. Even though I had a girl friend before, but I know I don’t really loved her. Hmmm… Sometimes, I feel confused about this or may be I'm trying to make myself confused!”

Mr. F says “I’m a 26 year-old virgin. I know subconsciously I like men, but I have not f****d as well as being f****d before.”

Mr. S introduced his male friend to me, “Hi, this is my friend, Monica!” Why is a man named himself Monica?

Mr. M and me having coffee in a café, Mr. M says “Hey, can you see the guy sitting next to us? He is so cute, I like his tough body!”

Mr. B says “Mr. O is so good looking; I can’t wait to sleep with him!”

Oh my god! I can’t believe Mr. B and I, both of us like the same man. So is “Is Mr. O gay too?”

Can you imagine, if there is a day when you going to a pub together with a male friend, and both of you are hunting for men.

Mr. N and Ms J were in a pub hunting for men, they met a cute looking guy sitting next to them. Mr. N told cute guy “I’m gay and she is straight, both of us are looking for men!”

I realized that most of the capable men like those men that hold higher position in the company, socialites are gays. These men are the most wanted guys that most of the women dream to have. But why are they gays?

I know we should not discriminate “homosexual”, sometimes I really wonder why is it happened? This happened because they had some bad experience when they were young? Or they were just playful and they want to try something new? Or they are being hurt badly before by ex-girl friends?

The next question that I will be asking is “Are they happy with their life being a homosexual?”

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