Early this year, I met a Dutch man (my first Dutch friend), JV who working in Malaysia for 4 months on a special project. He was the first foreign friend that I ever know. We knew each other when he just reached Malaysia.
We went out for a drink after that. I brought him to Sky Bar @ Traders Hotel (One of the nicest bars in Kuala Lumpur which is facing the Twin Towers). The outing was nice and fun. We chatted for couple of hours even though he said he was actually very busy at work. He was fun, humor and very good looking.
When we met, he kissed me 3 times on the cheek and he said this is their Dutch culture. He was new in town, so I offered him to send him back to his hotel. Before he went down from the car, he actually invited me to his room. But, I rejected him. May be I was not ready at that moment. Or perhaps, I was just scared. Then I was thinking may be I will go to his room when we meet for the 2nd time.
For your information, there is no 2nd time. We never meet again.
We chatted once in a while when we met on MSN about Malaysian economy, politics, entertainment, work etc. According to him, he was very busy at work because he only has 4 months time to finish his assignment in Malaysia. After the dateline, he has to go back to his home country.
4 months later after the first meeting, he told me he will be back to Amsterdam by end of May 2008. So I was suggesting, may be we could meet before he left. Who know, by the time I saw him online again, he was already back to Amsterdam. And yet, we were no longer chatting anymore.
So I was THINKING whether I should delete him from my friend list as I may not see him again for the rest of my life. Furthermore, we do not have common topics to chat about after he went back. On the other hand, I was thinking it may make me look bad if I deleted him because I can still keep him as a friend. May be I can visit him if I ever go to Amsterdam for holiday.
After all the thinking, I was nearly forgotten about him. Until today, I was thinking what is he doing recently. I remembered I saw his FB status once that he was leaving to Croatia. So I tried to search his name from my friend list, I couldn’t find him. Then I looked for the old e-mails that he had sent to me and click on his profile.
Guess what…Yes, you got it! He deleted me from his friend list!
I was like “Bloody hell! B**tard!” How could he delete me from his list? (Because I should be the one who delete him, not him). I feel insulted! Although the idea has came to my mind before (whether to delete him or not), but I decided to leave him in my list.
Why? Why he deleted me from his friend list? May be he thought the same as I was thinking? Or may be he thought that I was already in the past, and he is now looking for the future.
I was so angry…
He deleted me from FB, so … I deleted him from MSN. Fair enough, right?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Delete or not delete?
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7 comments:
Dear No Label
Most of this visiting foreigner come here to work and at the same time looking for Short Term Fun!
Are you really thinking it could be Long Term Fruitful relationship. If you did, then you are just kidding yourself again.
Once they know you are not their target, the usual sweet talk will just varnish into thin air. Why is it that you like sweet talk or word than action?
A man who do or scarified for you does not worth a few world of sweet candy talk? We Asian man are not a very sweet talker (We are improving leap and bounce), when we catch up in sweet talk without meaning it.. then it will be doom day for woman who like it.. is that what you want?
I think you are smart enough!
Shiok Guy
Oh Yeah!
My advise, JUST DELETE and fill the gap with someone NOT Sweet Talk, But Sweet Action..
A dear friend of mine always said that I am MFF (Mouth Flower Flower) or in Chinese 口花花. Hey we are learning to sweet talk mah! or else how to compete with those?
Shiok Guy
Sure we have a lot of friends in our life who pass by us. Some can be best friend, special friend, web friend, or even temporary friend.
Some of them we didnt contact for long time, but still can remember or care of each other. Some of them we chat or meet very often, but they just think is 'entertain' us only. So which one you prefer? He deleted your name from his list, it doesnt means that he had forgotten you. If your name still in his list, but he never call or chat with you, so what for you want him to keep your name in his list? You want to delete his name from your list because you are angry now, but can you delete his name from your heart or your mind?
Don't so mind about this 'name in list'. Just treat him as a '过客'in your life, then you will feel better........
I have so many people on my msn list and i hardly talk to most of them. who knows one day you would want to know what they are up to and you might have misplaced their number. so IM-ing them should be a good idea.
But looking at the fact that he actually deleted you on FB, he must have thought about something. Oh well, to avoid akwardness, you can just delete him off your msn :P
No big deal hun...ley bygone be bygone... so many more out there for you to hunt.
Some people think like thank ... Think about whether this contact is "of use" or not.
Thats not my thinking. I am one of those guys, keeping everybody until the end in this list. And I am not like adding everybody.
Especially for my situation, as a foreigner as well, every local contact is precious. If I would ever go back, its even more joy to know whats going on, in the "old home".
All this "online friendships" can be cruel. People just stay always in "hidden" status, deciding when they are talking to somebody or putting other on ignore to shut theire mouth... Much left not spoken out. A lot of room, to make your own thaughts about "Why is she/he to me like that?"
Holger
We come across ppl from all walks of life..and with the technology these days, i can safely say dat we make more frens from the internet than we actually do in person..i have personally met up with a few ppl whom i know online..and am actually still in contact with only ONE until now..so u see, it takes 2 to make something work..
I have a lot of ppl on my MSN list that i dun even know..but i dun delete them off coz i feel guilty for doing so. even blocking ppl will make me feel guilty..Haha..but do bear in mind that ppl u meet on the internet is suspicious..UNTIL u actually meet them and get to know them better..
So for ur case, since he deleted u..why not delete him as well..Ha ha ha..this is not call evil..but dats the way of life!!...dun fret over someone who doesnt appreciate like him...
cheers gal~
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