These are all tactics...

At first, all of us thought that D & Z are supposed to be a very compatible couple, they share everything in life, they chat about almost everything, the sex they had was awesome. Even Z was thinking, even she can only be the 2nd lady, she doesn’t mind, as long as she knows D will be always be with her when she needed him. Although both of them never sit down and actually talk about the “relationship” that they are having, but she thought both of them are actually have common understanding about what was the “relationship” that they are having.

One day, things happened without Z expected. All these while, she taught she was infatuated with D. In fact, she was totally wrong. It was a huge mistake and misunderstanding between she and D. D decided to tell Z the truth. The conversation was started from Z thought that D was a very nice guy, when they were started dating, D was not asking for sex, this made Z thought that their relationship was so special because she knows that D is a player. All the sweet memories that D created for Z as well as all the sweet talks were just a trap to make Z fell for him. D told her that he loves her, he missed her so much, how he wishes to make her his girl friend, etc (too many sweet talks that she would not want to mention about it anymore). All of them, all D has done were all tactics used to please Z, in other words, all of these were used to trap her.

D also mentioned, all these while, there were no emotional attached at all. He has been programmed not to get his emotional involved as he always has his priority which is his girl friend a.k.a. fiancée. So all the while, she thought that both of them were living in their dreamland, in fact, there was only Z lived in her own wonderland which created by D.

Out of sudden, Z be able to see things clear, very clear. She thought she is a smart girl, she did everything careful, she thinks twice before she decided, she thought she be able to understand all the men’s tricks, but she is still naive enough to believe, she is the special one. According to D, Z is special and every girl is special. Before she left, D told her he cares her too much to actually hurt her. Z wondered, is this truth or is one of his tactics again! Z asked D, why he decided to tell her all the truth, because he thought that she is tough enough to take it. In fact, Z is not a tough girl; she is just trying to be tough.

Z was crying non-stop when she was driving back the other day. She cried because she was very disappointed, she cried because she is stupid enough to believe D in labelling her as “Very Close Girl Friend” instead of FXXXing Buddy. Basically they are nothing more than that. 2 months is a very short period of time, but for Z it was the best moment that she ever had since her previous relationship. Anyway, all of these were over.

She decided, if she is going to see D again, it will just for fun and it will be 100% game. Not saying she wanna take revenge, she will treat him exactly on how he treats her. Is a fair game! No more tender, loving, care, if yes, it was also just a one of the tactics.

Z is now in war! Good Luck babe!

Quoted from SATC:

You said you loved me, but why does it hurt so fucking much? Carrie Bradshaw.

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Queen Control

I always said that I’m a very liberal person, I don’t control and I don’t even trying to change or stop men for doing this or that. They always have 100% freedom to do what they want or like to do as long as I was being informed earlier.

However, I realized that being an understanding girl friend, I tend to make my boy friend cheat on me easily. They are trying to take me for granted as I trusted him so much, so is easier for them to actually cheat on me.

Recently, I heard a lot of stories happened around me, most of the guys were saying how their girl friends intended to control them, checked on their MSN conversations, SMS on the phone, give them curfew on what time they need to be home, etc.

I wonder, being a queen to control a man, will it make him a better boyfriend? Do men really like to being controlled?

Lately, MK being forced by his fiancée to include her name in his facebook @ the relationship status “In a relationship with XXX”. She is trying to stop her boyfriend flirting around in facebook. So I asked MK, does it going to stop you flirting with girls no matter on the facebook or reality? He said “NOPE”; he still can get girls, but no doubt it will not be as easy as before. If a girl wanted to flirt with you, she will not care whether you are single, in a relationship or even married. Or some of them may register another facebook account and not letting their wives or girl friends to find out and start flirting there.

Story about a girl who likes to check the boyfriend’s mobile phone especially the SMS. I asked CK, does it make any different? Will this going to stop you flirting around? He said “OF COURSE NOT”; he will just have to delete all the sms that he received and all his outbox messages.

One day, T’s wife was not in town. T reported to his wife saying that he will go back to the mother’s place for dinner. In order to comfort her wife, he needs to use the house phone to call the wife to show that he was at home. T said “I do it this to please her; I can still go out after called her phone the house”.

W is working as an export manager in a trading company. He needs to travel to overseas frequently due to his work. Last time when there was no 3G function, he was required to MMS the wife on where was he, who he was going with, etc. Now, with 3G, of course he needs to video call the wife no matter where he goes or what he does especially when he is overseas. Sometime, W feels it is embarrassing to do that especially when he was spending time with the clients. How is it possible to shoot your client’s photo and send it to the wife?

Therefore, I came out with the conclusion: -

Sometime, men are just like kids, they do not know how to discipline themselves. Sometimes they tend to go beyond the border line or you can say “lose control”. When the wife or girl friend started to make noise, this will keep them alert. They will be very careful on what they are doing, they will not go wild.

From other perspective, these wives and girl friends have trained or educated their husbands or boy friends to cheat them in a smarter way; the checking or control will not stop them from cheating. For example, he knows his girl friend will check his mobile; he just deleted all the message that he received or sent. He knows that the girl friend or wife will not be happy he hang out with female friends, he can just make up story saying that he was having drink with his buddies or male colleagues.

As for me, I appreciate an honest man, I will prefer him to tell me the truth and deal with it instead of forcing him to quit. Because I know that he will not quit unless he decided to quit, if not he will still find his way to do it. I’m not mentioned about cheating here, same goes to others habit that girls usually don’t like, such as smoking and drinking. Men will still do it without your concern; they have their way to do it.

Trust me!

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It’s complicated

"It’s complicated”, is this terms sound familiar to you? I got to know the terms when I first registered on my Friendster account. It appears on the marital status column: Single, Married, Separated, Divorced & It’s complicated. What does “It’s complicated” means? I always thought that relationship is very straight forward, for example:-

When you are still single, no matter you are available or not  Single
When you are married to someone  Married
When you are separated with you partner (not divorced yet)  Separated
When you are divorced with your spouse  Divorced

So when is the time that the relationship becomes complicated?

D is going to get married in 3 months time. Last month, he met Z in a function. Both of them like love at the first sight, they were talking to each other non stop for 6 hours; they have too much to share till they didn’t realized the time flies. Z knows that D is getting married soon, for her, she just need a companion; she doesn’t care whether he is going to get married or not as the main objective is not having D as a permanent partner. However, when the time goes by, this affair slowly turn in to a relationship when they didn’t even realized it. It started to have emotional involved. Z started being upset when D did something to piss her off. They met at least 3 – 4 times a week. They have a permanent place for both of them to spend time together. D never thought of giving up his fiancée as well. He still will be getting married when the time comes, for him; he wants to have both if possible. He even made the statement saying that, if he doesn’t have any fiancée now, he will definitely want Z to be his girl. No one will know what happened in the coming future, sometime they feel guilty, but they just don’t want to think about it. At this moment, they just want to stay in their fantasy world as long as they can.

In order not to be hurt by D when he got married one day, Z is trying to persuade herself that in this relationship, there will be no emotional involved, it started because both of them want to have fun, no string attached, no expectation and no commitment. Like I always agreed, women tends to emotional driven, so is hard for Z to control her emotional sometime. Once in a while, she seems to be very rational but sometime she cried like a baby when D pissed her off. So what Z planned to do now is to dilute her focus on D. She is trying to continue her life on her own like D never exists. To her, D is just like a bonus in her life. Now, she is back in to the market, starts her hunting life again.

Is this what we meant by “It’s complicated”? Yes, for me, it is very complicated. Why human like to complicate things especially relationship. When I was young, I thought relationship suppose to be simple and straight forward. When you like me and I like you, we would love to spend our life together, we are couple. However, things are not as simple as what I think now when I grow older. Is not about black & white anymore, something happens in a grey area.

Sometime you realized, we cannot stand a stable life style for long period of time. We are looking for sparks and climax in our life. When someone is involved in a stable relationship for too long, they will start to find excitement out of their relationship in order to make their relationship last longer.

Is this a human nature which we like to complicate things? Or we get bored easily from a stable relationship?

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Girlfriend ≠ Best friend?

Yesterday, after work we went for a drink in a coffee shop at downtown KL. My friend, Wen was sharing with us regarding a TV talk show that he watched recently, it was about a mid age artist sharing her view on love relationship. She was saying that sometime in a love relationship, the couple needs to be best friends besides being the lovers. After all the excitement at the beginning of a relationship, you need more than love to make the relationship lasting.

I’m totally agreed about this.

I’ve been thinking about this for long time. I was wondering, why a couple can never be friends. Sometime, man will have a few best friends who are girls, they will usually sit down and talk about the man’s problems, they will share their opinions about relationships, let the man knows what the perceptions of woman, complaints about their girl friends, blah blah blah.

The question is why the man cannot share this with his girl friend? Even if he has a tolerate girl friend?

Example A:-

Man, named John, he told his female friend, Zay that he has a crush on his new trainee in the office today. The young fresh girl seems to be very naïve and doesn’t even avoid him after knowing him is attaching with some one now. But why can’t John tell this incident to the girl friend? Will the gf really get upset after that? Or may be the gf can handle this like a friend?

Example B:

A girl, named Jean, is meeting up her net friend without letting her boy friend knows about it. She tells the story to one of his closest friend. So if she really telling this to her bf about this; will the bf be generous and say “Oh! How nice! No worries, baby! Enjoy yourself tonight!” or he will just pretend to be generous, he will start checking the gf and ask “So? Is your net friend calling you again today?”

Example C: (I think this is the most common example)

Man, Mr. C called one of his so called “best friend” who is a girl named Yann to complaint about his job, unreasonable boss, his selfish girl friend, monetary problems, blah blah blah. Why can’t the man open up his heart and share his problems with the girl friend?

Can girlfriend also be your best friend? Can you your problem with your partner? Work, relationship, financial, health, etc. Why you only share your problems with your best friend but not your partner? After all the sweet talking, praising each other, when both of you come back to the reality, will you tell your partner something deeply in your heart? How many man and woman can actually treat their partner like a friend?

All these yeas, I’m trying to be a very understanding and tolerate girl friend, I’m trying to make myself like a friend to my boy friend. But I believe that we are human, we will take it for granted. It is not easy to treat your partner like a friend and it has to be happened in both ways. You have to respect each other and not going below his / her bottom line.

I’m still learning…

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When you are getting older…

2 months back, me and my friend was sitting at the bar listening to live band performance after an expensive dinner. There was an old white man sitting opposite us, keep starring at us. After finished the first glass of white wine, the old man ordered the bar tender to get us another 2 glasses of wine. Out of courtesy, I think we should actually thank him for that. Then we started the conversation. He was here for business and he travels to Malaysia once every month for the past 15 years. He is mid-age man with grey hair; he looks a bit like the age of Sean Connery and Jack Nicholson.

Me, the same old me, I don’t mind getting to know more people especially those powerful person like him. After couples of wine, he started to touch me and asking me to spend a night with him. I rejected him in a polite way, because I’m with my friend and this is not my principle. I still remember he was trying hard to persuade me, he used 3 different techniques: -

1. Begging

At first, he was trying to beg me “Come, please spend a night with me…please… please… you are lovely… you are so pretty… Come please… just one night @ my room”

2. Lecture

I insisted I don’t feel like going. He started to lecture me, he said “Life is so short, when you feel like doing something, you have to do it now, if not you will regret!”

3. Sympathy

Then I said, today was not a good day because me with my friend. And he started to gain my sympathy “When the sun rises, things changed! You may not wanna see me anymore or pick up my calls! You promised you will pick up my calls?”

Although I’m a bit high in alcohol, I was thinking “This old man, not bad! He still knows how to use the technique to persuade me to do that!” At the end, nothing happened!

The next day, he did call me. Due to work, I didn’t manage to meet him at all. He called couple of times from overseas and even want to pay me a trip to Thailand when he was on business trip. But nothing have been work out.

After 2 months, finally he is back. I don’t want him to lose interest in me, so I agreed to go out for dinner with him. After couples of white wine, we went for a nice a.k.a. expensive Japanese restaurant for dinner. The whole conversation was nice, he is being a gentleman. After the dinner, he asked what we should do next? Should we continue to drink at the bar or go back to his room? After the wines, I let him decides.

So he holded my hand and brought me to his room, he turned off all the lights until I cannot see my own fingers. He started to kiss and touch.

That moment, I flashed back the 1 episode I watched from Sex & The City, when Samantha met old millionaire, Ed. Ed didn’t have an old man touch or an old man kiss. When he turned on the light, he has an old man ass!!!

So I know why he wanna turned all the lights off. Everything was fine, just that he is too old to be hard. Even touched or blow also can never get hard. On the other hand, he was trying hard to make me happy, he said what he wants was just seeing me happy. After the whole foreplay session (because he was not ready for sex), he just wanted me to rest on his arm and keep saying that he loves me and want me to stay with him tonight. Of course I’m not going to stay with him because I have early appointment tomorrow.

After the long description of the story, here comes the most important part of the story. Before I left his room, he gave me 100 USD. I was so shocked, the first thing came from my mouth is “I’m not a prostitute!” He said “Of course you are not, take the money and buy some nice clothes or buy something you like; I just want you to be happy!”

Did I take the money? Of course, I did!

I didn’t do anything, no sex happened, he gave me “Ang Pow”. What in my mind was “It was a good trade! He was the one doing all the hard work and now I have money!” So may be what he wants is a just a companionship, may be making a young girl happy can help him to build his confidence level. He sounded horny all the time when we talked on the phone; in fact he is too old for that. Sometimes, I’m worried whether he will die on bed because he is too sexcited!

When a man getting older and they are rich, what they actually want is just to rebuild their confidence? I wonder (after I took the money, of course)…

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Friendship VS. Sex-ship

I always believe that men & women are totally different set of creature. From the physical, the god differentiates us well. Mentally, women are more emotional, sentimental and sophisticated; men are straight forward, rational and they have the quality that women don’t have is – they can separate sex & emotions. Some people said that men are able to separate all the eggs in different baskets, while women put all the eggs in a basket, if one doesn’t go well, it will affect others.

R (a very open minded lady with good career prospect in the company) called me today; she told me she has found a sex partner a month ago from the internet who looks like her ex-boy friend. They didn’t interact much before they go to a hotel in downtown. After meeting a couple of times for sex, R started to have the emotional attached with this guy. She expected his SMS everyday, wondering whether he will text her today, or may be will they meet again anytime soon. However she realized that she is the only one felling that way. Because from the man point of view, she is merely his sex partner not she is even a friend. The worst thing is he doesn’t really know what her real name is; he only knows her nick name.

I remembered M told me her experience before. She has a net friend from overseas spending his trip in Malaysia. Due to Malaysian hospitality, she thought that she may bring him for sight seeing and giving him some traveling advices. So she picked him up from the airport and sent him to the hotel. This guy was very good looking and she had no problem having sex with him if the mood was OK. According to M, the whole meeting was not bad, so the sex did happen. Before she left the hotel, they were actually planned to meet again the next day after she finished work. The next morning, M got the message from this guy, the message was saying that he cannot see her anymore, because seeing her was just out of gratitude and it was not fair to her (which I think is bullshit), so he decided to travel alone. What really hurt was, he mentioned that there was no physical attraction after seeing her; he didn’t feel like hugging her. M was very upset, he came twice during the sex and now he told her that she didn’t appeal to him. The sex part was not purposely arranged by her. The major intention meeting up with this guy was all because of “friendship” that she thought they have. You don’t reject a friend because she doesn’t appeal to you, do you?

From a male friend, his name is K. He said he loves women so much therefore he cannot afford to settle down with a woman. He told me the reason why he need to change his sex partner, because when he spends more time with a girl, she will request more and more after that. So when the girl requests more, he will cut her off from his life. He told me, girls will always ask for more and she will start to look for more commitment from a man after sleeping with him. Women always want to get more focus and they tend to get jealous, then the man started to get questions and problems after that. All of these “qualities” of women “force” him to change his partner every season. Obviously, I do not see any “friendship” in him and his sex partner. Everything he planned or did is merely for great sex, like wonderful dinner, nice wine, good movie, etc.

Sometimes, I realized that women are looking for a soul mate or so called “friend” instead of just sex partner. This guy is not necessary have to be her boy friend or husband, just someone they can talk and share life; of course they also could fulfill their sexual desire once in a while.

But for men, they do not need a soul mate; they just need a sex partner. They can just f*** without any talking or communication.

The intention of a man and woman is different here. For a woman, friendship always comes first; for men, sex-ship comes first. Without sex, women can still be friend with the man (unless he is very annoying in person). For some men, no sex = no talk. They talk to you when they want sex.

I believe men are rational when they are dealing with their sex partner. If you are the sex partner category, you will forever in it. You will not be able to switch your role to the potential girl friends category or even the “friends” category. For women, sex partner can be potential boy friend or best friend. Because women will not simply sleep with any guys they picked up on the street. She has to like him in a way.

I agree that women are more emotional driven, men are more sexually driven. Men know how to separate sex & emotions; sometimes I really amaze how men actually can do that…

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Love 2008

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女人给男人的 忠告！

1 别以为女人是你肚子里面的蛔虫，你爱不爱她，你什么也不说，你什么也不做，她怎么会知道？

 

2．别在女人撒娇的时候冷落她，否则她可能会认为她在你心里已经不重要了。
 

3．性关系对女人来说，远远没有男人想得那么重要，所以，不要以为她爱你，就该在你需要的时候，无条件地满足你，那样她只能认为你只在乎性，而不是她。
 

4．在她穿上新衣服的时候，适当地赞扬她一下，别总说这个太暴露、那个太透明；即使真的如此，你可以跟她说：?这件衣服你穿着真漂亮，但只能穿给我看！?她会明白的。
 

5．别动不动跟她说：?你懂什么？我的事你别管！?女人也有自尊，即使在她最爱的男人面前，她依然有自尊。
 

6．在她独处的时候，给她自由，别说她今天很奇怪；她静默的时候，给她拥抱，别问她为什么。
 

7．她一定会有异性朋友，甚至会是知心朋友，别担心，女人对爱情和友谊，往往比男人分得清楚。
 

8．吃醋是女人的专利，如果女人有天不吃你的醋了，那只可能是她不爱你了；但醋吃多了，女人会伤心，依然会离开她爱的你。
 

9．女人对于爱情的需要和男人对于性的需要一样多，所以不要指责她对爱情的追求是?奢侈?。
 

10．能容忍自己的男人去偷吃的女人，永远是少数，不要期待你的女人是少数派；即便她真的是，那她可能也找到了平衡心态的方式：也去偷吃。
 

11．记住：这个世界的男女比例是 1.04 ：1，女人永远比男人少，而且，每个男人都想拥有几个女人。结论是：女人永远比男人有性别优势！

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先處理心情、再處理事情

我們必須學習
『情緒忍受力』和『挫折容忍力』
因為，
『脾氣來了，福氣就沒有了』
在我們碰到棘手的問題時，必須先靜下來、勿衝動行事 也學習
『 先處理心情、再處理事情』
免得事情愈弄愈糟糕 有句話說：
『生命的長度是上帝所給予的，但生命的寬度卻掌握在我們自己的手中』
的確，我們雖然不能控制生命的
『長度』
但我們可以控制生命的
『寬度』

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Delete or not delete?

Early this year, I met a Dutch man (my first Dutch friend), JV who working in Malaysia for 4 months on a special project. He was the first foreign friend that I ever know. We knew each other when he just reached Malaysia.

We went out for a drink after that. I brought him to Sky Bar @ Traders Hotel (One of the nicest bars in Kuala Lumpur which is facing the Twin Towers). The outing was nice and fun. We chatted for couple of hours even though he said he was actually very busy at work. He was fun, humor and very good looking.

When we met, he kissed me 3 times on the cheek and he said this is their Dutch culture. He was new in town, so I offered him to send him back to his hotel. Before he went down from the car, he actually invited me to his room. But, I rejected him. May be I was not ready at that moment. Or perhaps, I was just scared. Then I was thinking may be I will go to his room when we meet for the 2nd time.

For your information, there is no 2nd time. We never meet again.

We chatted once in a while when we met on MSN about Malaysian economy, politics, entertainment, work etc. According to him, he was very busy at work because he only has 4 months time to finish his assignment in Malaysia. After the dateline, he has to go back to his home country.

4 months later after the first meeting, he told me he will be back to Amsterdam by end of May 2008. So I was suggesting, may be we could meet before he left. Who know, by the time I saw him online again, he was already back to Amsterdam. And yet, we were no longer chatting anymore.

So I was THINKING whether I should delete him from my friend list as I may not see him again for the rest of my life. Furthermore, we do not have common topics to chat about after he went back. On the other hand, I was thinking it may make me look bad if I deleted him because I can still keep him as a friend. May be I can visit him if I ever go to Amsterdam for holiday.

After all the thinking, I was nearly forgotten about him. Until today, I was thinking what is he doing recently. I remembered I saw his FB status once that he was leaving to Croatia. So I tried to search his name from my friend list, I couldn’t find him. Then I looked for the old e-mails that he had sent to me and click on his profile.

Guess what…Yes, you got it! He deleted me from his friend list!

I was like “Bloody hell! B**tard!” How could he delete me from his list? (Because I should be the one who delete him, not him). I feel insulted! Although the idea has came to my mind before (whether to delete him or not), but I decided to leave him in my list.

Why? Why he deleted me from his friend list? May be he thought the same as I was thinking? Or may be he thought that I was already in the past, and he is now looking for the future.

I was so angry…

He deleted me from FB, so … I deleted him from MSN. Fair enough, right?

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A friend? Or a man?

After graduated, there is such a long time I never spend time with my friends. Especially when every one of us is busy at work, boyfriend’s birthday, boyfriend’s family gathering, bla bla bla… You know, when you feel not to going out with your friends, you can find have all sorts of reason to reject the outing.

There was one time; we had an ex-schoolmate gathering after 10 years we graduated. The gathering had been postponed for 3 times because is hard to fit everyone’s schedule. At the end up we managed to gather 3 people to attend the gathering, another 1 came very late after we finished the food (If I’m not mistaken, we had 50 over classmates in our class last time)

L said “SK is not here today, she has dinner with her family in laws.”

But, we gathered for lunch!!!

S said “M will be late today; because she has to bring the boyfriend’s doggie to see vet.”

What? Can’t the boyfriend bring the bloody dog to the vet?

J said “Jane cannot come today; she has to stay with her boyfriend.”

You can stay with your boyfriend for the rest of your life if you guys are getting married one day. But how often can you spend time with your friends?

If there will be 4 people attending the gathering, why the hell we need to postpone it for 3 times? Now it makes us look bad, like we are the only 4 people in the world who is so damn free, nothing to do, sitting here for “gathering”.


Is spending time with your friends are a waste of time?

LY said “Talking with friends @ the café is wasting time, because you guys are talking nonsense.”

Hello, these are not nonsense, we are updating each other about what every one’s being up to.

T said “If we are really good friends, we do not need to spend time together and we will still be friends forever.”

Relationship or even friendship is something fragile, if you don’t maintain it, you will miss it. It will be too late when you realized it because you already lost a friend.

B said “Yes, you are my friends, but you guys are just friends, you will never be my boy friend.”

Yes yes… sorry I cannot be your boyfriend, because I don’t have a dick. So man is the only creature you need in your life, then I will consider deleting you from my friend list.

R said “Sorry friend, I cannot have dinner with you tonight, because my net friend, he is in town”

Hey, I’m a good friend of you for the past 10 years; you make me having dinner alone because of a net friend that you barely know. May be you could invite me to have dinner together with you and your net friend or at least you give me another better excuse.

Are those on the above, sounds familiar to you? You got it from a friend or you are the one who treated your friend that way?

Sometimes, as a friend, of course you will hope you friend will live happily. But friends are not someone you only call them when you are sad, they can also share your happiness as well. It is unfair to a friend that you only share your sadness when you got hurt or suffer from the relationship. When the time you realized you need a friend, there will be no more friends in your list, because you have ignored them when you are happily in love with your boyfriend.

For me, friendship is more valuable than a man. The possibility for a man to betray you is much higher than a good friend. I believe that a good friend will stand for you when you really need them, but the most important thing is you have to treat them as a friend, not just companion.

So…
How often you see your friends after you got a boyfriend?
How often you turn down your friend because you want to spend time with your boyfriend?
How often you give a call to your friend after you have a boyfriend?

Miss your friend? Call them now…

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Hey there, How are you?

There was a night; me and my gay “boyfriend”, B went to a dinner. We were sharing our “sexperience” about men; basically he was the one who taught me how to tackle a man. After dinner, he brought me to a pub nearby, he wanna to show me how to do it.

When we talked up from the staircase, we saw a gorgeous man sitting with his friend at the bar table. “The first thing, you have to do is, choose a right man and sitting next to him, it definitely need to be at the bar.”

So we chose to sit next to the gorgeous man. He ordered a bottle of white wine. “It will be better if you ordered champagne, if champagne is too expensive for you, at least you have to order something close to it, like white wine.”

While we were chit chatting and observing the man sitting next to us, the man never even looked at us since we sat next to him. We saw there were 2 girls sitting opposite to us and wearing something very revealing. B said “Don’t ever wear like them when you were out hunting for man because it makes you look cheap and desperate. A simple top with one or two button opened in front of your chest will make a woman look sexy enough.”

After an hour, while we finished the bottle of wine, the man finally turned his face and look at us. Without any further ado, B quickly picked up his wine glass and say “Hey there, how are you?” The man replied “Fine, thanks! How about you?” Then we started the conversation.

He is a doctor who is still under training in one of the local government hospital. B was straight to the point and telling him he is gay and I’m straight, well, both of us are hunting for men. We were observing him whole night. He was surprised and you can see smile on his face, he was proud.

When we finished our wine, he offered both of us a drink. I was a bit drunk and I didn’t think I can drink anymore. B ordered a martini and he ordered a long island tea for me. When B said “Martini, please”, the man impressed about it and say “Gays have very high taste. No matter in fashion, life style and even liquor.”

B was whispered to me “Think a drink as your signature drink that make you look classy. Don’t reject any offer when people want to buy you a drink, just take it. Let it if you can’t finish it!”

B was helping me to tackle the guy, so he said “She is single and you are single too, will you call her out for a drink sometime?” “Sure” the man replied. “But you don’t have her number, how are you going to call her then?” The man quickly took out his phone and key-in my number. And of course he gave me his too.

After a nice conversation, the man has to go. He paid our bill. And he kissed me goodbye.

I really impressed on what a gay man can do. He is 100 times advance than me in terms of hunting man. His tactics and his strategies are all works and useful. May be gay men knows men well, they are same kind anyway.

Finally I realized, “Hey there, how are you?” This is the ice breaking sentence. Is that difficult to say the word “HI” to the man that you found gorgeous? Sometimes, is really difficult, I have to admit it.

Handbook: Man hunting @ the bar
* Step into the bar, and find your target
* Must choose a bar seats as the table seats are more isolated and more like a bunch of friends having some closed session which you don’t welcome any interruption.
* Sit next to your target
* Get your signature drink
* For girls, please don’t order beer unless you are with some of your male friends, because beer will downgrade you. If possible, choose wine, because just the tall wine glass can make you look classy.
* Grab the opportunity when your target is looking at you. You may miss the first time, but when your target is going to look at you for the second time. Grad the opportunity and say ““Hey there, how are you?”
* During the conversation, trying to humor, fun and humble. Show the qualities in you, don’t just trying to act pretty.
* Be smart and intelligent
* Beware on what are you wearing, don’t wear something reveal 80% of your breast. It will make you look desperate and horny.
* Be classy and sexy. No bitchy and slutty

Girls, please try it and let me know whether this is useful to you. Gentleman, please tell me whether these are correct to tackle a man.

ENJOY!!!

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Friend, we miss you so much!!

Today is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday again………

Last time, we have a group of friends like to gather on every Friday. We can sit at Starbucks for few hours just for chit chat. But few weeks ago, M has been diagnosed with cancer and need to go for Chemotherapy treatment soon. We are so sad to hear that.

M is a positive thinking and cheerful lady. She always brings a lot of happiness to us. She is the one among them who can really click with me. Every week when come to Friday, it makes me think about her and miss her.

A friend always likes to tell me ‘life is short’. Yes….life is short. We need to learn how to appreciate the time being together with the people surrounding us, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.............

Hey, friend, hope you recover soon and come back to us on every Friday, we miss you so much!!!!

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Me and my “SPECIAL” ex-boyfriend…

Last weekend, I met my girl friend, L met for a drink. This was the first time we met after she broke up with her boy friend. I feel happy for her, this is not because I want her to be single as I am but she finally gets over a suffered relationship.

I met her @ a nice café in the centre of the city. From far, she looks better and more attractive compared to last time. I cannot see any sadness from her face. I can see she is so over him now.

After a cup of latte, she started to share with me what happened between her and the ex-boy friend: -

Their relationship last for 3 years, after the first year they got together, the boyfriend (Mr. M) started to cheat and flirt around. I still remember how sad she was when she found out Mr. M cheated on her just after a 2D1N trip to Thailand. She was trying very hard to be a nicest girlfriend in the world. She didn’t blame him, and she pretended nothing happened because she loved him, cannot afford to lose him.

She has been through the same issue for 3 times. From hurt badly till she had immune. But each time when she got hurt, she started to let go slowly. Finally, the last time, she decided this will be the last time, she deserved a better man.

L is happier right now. Mr. M treated her better than before when they were couple. He bought her gift when ever he traveled to overseas. He will ask her out once in while for dinner, movie, concert, etc. Even though L bumped into him in a shopping mall holding a girl’s hand, he never admits he has a new girl friend. Anyway, who cares whether he has a new girl friend as long as she feels happier now. At least she is treated like a princess. Now, she is not the one who suffered, is the new girl friend.

So I wonder, man (or many be human) tends to appreciate someone / something after losing it. Why? Why we cannot appreciate and hold on to whatever we are having now? But why Mr. M will treat L better than last time when they were couple? May be he regrets or he feels guilty?

Men are a weird creature. They can be cute and nice sometimes, but sometimes they can also be horrible and bad. Men like to be adventurous sometimes, I realized. They don’t like the happily ever after, they like complicated relationship. They will not satisfy with a normal, stable relationship; they need excitement, fun and flirt. The girls out there are always better than the one at home. May be they just like the feeling of being needed by different women? Or may be they just wanna grab as much “cares” as possible from different women?

My conclusion:
Sometimes, we have a boyfriend who doesn’t do his part, for example, he doesn’t care, he flirts, and he cheats. But sometimes do you realize that we may have a male friend who do exactly what a boyfriend does, who treats you like a girlfriend, he cares, he pays attention on you? In this case, you prefer to have a boyfriend who doesn’t care or you would like to have a male friend who cares?

So is the “BOYFRIEND” labeling important? I confuse…

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When a man says “I Love you”

Today, J met her Latino lover, Mr. SG. They are not couple or even in a serious relationship but they had sex. In short, they are F**king Buddies a.k.a FuBu. Both of them basically have a common understanding that both of them are do not ready to have a steady relationship. They had sex for couple of time, they are happy with what they have right now. However, they are never interfering each other personal life; they just enjoy whatever happened in this moment.

This afternoon, after the romantic and loving moment n the bed, Mr. SG requested a massage from J. Mr. SG enjoys massage, or may be he loves the massages given by J. While Mr. SG was enjoying his massage, suddenly he said “oh! I love you so much…”

At first J was not sure whether she heard what he said, so she just ignored it or may be he just loves massages so much. Then Mr. SG repeated the same sentence again, this time, J heard it clearly. But she just kept quite because she didn’t know how to response to him.

Then, Mr. SG looked in to her eyes and asked her, “Do you love me too?” J was shocked, and she was speechless.
Mr. SG said “You need to think about it? You Don’t Love me? Oh! You don’t love me at all!!!” Then he put his head underneath the pillow and wanted J to give me more massages and J whispered “I hope I can really love you”.
J called me after that and shared with me about what’s happened.

I was wondered for a real player, he must be very careful on what he said, because what he said are giving false hopes to a woman who slept with him before. Previously, he just said “I like you… I miss you … I miss your body…” but he never said “I love you”. Does he mean that? Or he said it because he really love the massages provided by J? J told me, Mr. SG said “I Love you” twice within 2-hour when they met.

The rational side of J understands how to play the game, but the emotional side of her, is hoping that what Mr. SG said was truly from the deepest of his heart. Sometimes, or most of the time, girls are more emotional driven; sex is not their priority in the hierarchy chart, what they need most is care and love. As for J, she was delighted after that, because now her heart is full of love.

So when a man says “I Love you”, does he really mean it?


The definition of I LOVE YOU:-
From Wiktionary: -

• An affirmation of affection or deep caring especially to a family member.
• An affirmation of romantic feeling to a lover or spouse.
• A platonic expression of inclination or liking to a friend.
  

From Wikipedia: -

• Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.
  

From Cambridge dictionaries: -

• Love (LIKE SOMEONE) to have strong feelings of affection for another adult and be romantically and sexually attracted to them, or to feel great affection for a friend or person in your family
  
  

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You have got a mail....

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I’m gonna do is to log on to the internet. Facebook has already become the most important sites that I have to log in a few times a day.This morning, I got a surprise message from a girl, she wrote: -  

July, 04 at 7:10am
Dear Ms. J,  

Hello, I saw you in JF's friend list. Me too. About 1 month ago I was in his friend list too. He was very nice at first and he invited me to meet him in KL. I thought that he was a good man so I decided to meet him and sleep with him for 3 nights, but after that he started to ignore me.

So if he ever wants to meet you, please reject him and don’t trust anything he said. This is for your own good because what he wants is just sex.Take care.  

From,
Ms. A

I was a little surprise when I read the message because I think that JF is an attractive guy (but I never chat with him before). JF is a pilot (because he was wearing the pilot uniform in his photo), good looking French man. He has all the characteristics of the dream guy that most of the girls wanted so much:-

• French man (one of the most romantic lovers in the world)
• Pilot (WOW! Pilot, who doesn’t want to marry to a pilot)
• Single (35-year-old single man, apart from the family, staying alone in Malaysia)

I can say JF is a man who is irresistible! Most of the women would love to be with him. After reading the message, I decided to brush my teeth and clean my face, to make sure that I am totally awake, then I sit in my working desk again to reply her message, I replied: -

July, 04 at 9:11am  
Dear Ms. A,  

First of all, I would like to thank you for your kind reminder. He really seems to be a nice (from his photo)But I just wanna know, are you just sent the message to me? Or u sent it to every one in his list?  

Best Regards,
J  

At 2:50pm, I got the message from Ms. A again; she answered “Yes. I sent the message to the girls from his list”.Sometimes, we have no choice to believe on what the old Chinese proverbs say “Don’t ever make a woman mad at you; you will never know what the ladies will do for revenge”. 

I think this attractive JF is a serious shit now, because we never know who is in his list, some of them may be friends & family, working counterparts, colleagues, business partners, and now everyone in the list knows he is a player. It may cause him into troubles. I think when he decided to f*** the girl, he never thought that this will gonna happened to him.  

However, I think this happened both ways, the girl may be just too naïve to believe a foreigner. When she decided to sleep with him, she should have prepared for the worst. I believe that things happened because both of them wanted it to happen, so the girl will also need to responsible on what’s happened to her. She should not just accuse the man. This is the nature of this “GAME” and don’t forget, every game has the rules that you have to follow.  

What I can say to Ms. A is “WELCOME TO THE ADULT’S WORLD”!

 If JF really invited me out for date, do you think I should go?

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When you realized more and more of your male friends are gays…

How would you feel when you realized more and more men around you are gay?

I went to a birthday party of a friend recently. Only 10 of us in the group, after a few shots of liquor, I found out that the 3 men out of 10 people, there is only a “REAL” cock. 2 of them are “WOMEN”.

There was a Saturday, my friend and I were sitting at the coffee house in the town, if you are able to observe, more and more gay guys are walking on street especially those smart looking ones. The funniest thing is, both of us are late twenties single woman, now we realized why are we still single! We are not attractive enough…

Since when more and more men have converted themselves into gay?

Mr. D says “I know I’m a gay since I was 12 yrs old. Even though I had a girl friend before, but I know I don’t really loved her. Hmmm… Sometimes, I feel confused about this or may be I'm trying to make myself confused!”

Mr. F says “I’m a 26 year-old virgin. I know subconsciously I like men, but I have not f****d as well as being f****d before.”

Mr. S introduced his male friend to me, “Hi, this is my friend, Monica!” Why is a man named himself Monica?

Mr. M and me having coffee in a café, Mr. M says “Hey, can you see the guy sitting next to us? He is so cute, I like his tough body!”

Mr. B says “Mr. O is so good looking; I can’t wait to sleep with him!”

Oh my god! I can’t believe Mr. B and I, both of us like the same man. So is “Is Mr. O gay too?”

Can you imagine, if there is a day when you going to a pub together with a male friend, and both of you are hunting for men.

Mr. N and Ms J were in a pub hunting for men, they met a cute looking guy sitting next to them. Mr. N told cute guy “I’m gay and she is straight, both of us are looking for men!”

I realized that most of the capable men like those men that hold higher position in the company, socialites are gays. These men are the most wanted guys that most of the women dream to have. But why are they gays?

I know we should not discriminate “homosexual”, sometimes I really wonder why is it happened? This happened because they had some bad experience when they were young? Or they were just playful and they want to try something new? Or they are being hurt badly before by ex-girl friends?

The next question that I will be asking is “Are they happy with their life being a homosexual?”

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He did too much......

“Today is your off day, you should take a rest. But I got to go out, and you have to take care of the kid, I feel guilty and bad………”

“Is ok, darling, you take care of him everyday from day and night, every hour, every second, you should take a break too.”

‘But…..”

“Is all right, I appreciate and happy to stay at home with him.”

I’m very lucky because he always stand besides me and cheer me up and giving supports to me. I know he also worry and sad about our son, just didn’t show off. And besides that, he is always doing his best to cheer me up. Other then son, I know he also worry about his business and works. He did too mush for us. What can I do is just only share my happiness with him, just don’t add on his burden………let me swallow all the sadness….

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Emotion

I can't remember, since when i became more and more emotional.

One of my friend told me before, don't let people control our emotion, we have to control ourself. I had tried it hard, but is failed. Not only failed, is became more serious. My emotion seems like control by my son, it follows his every steps he went through. I will smile when he throw me a smiling face, i will sad when he act abnormal. 'Sad'.....means i will drops my tears for no reason, just feel like want to cry, to release stress, sometimes i also very hate it, cry is not a method of solving problems, but i really cant control my emotion.

My husband can easily read my emotion through my face. But sometimes i have to pretend that i'm find in front of him, because he will drops his tears when i'm cried.

Many friends told me 'be happy'!!! I had forgotten what means 'happy' since few years ago. I think 'happy' will only come back to me when my son is being normal..............

I always put on my mind 'Hope on Tomorrow', but i dont know how many tomorrow we have and who can predict tomorrow?

How nice if there is an on / off button on our emotion............

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Betrayal is more than that

Today, I wanna talk about me opinion in relationship. I know... *NOT AGAIN* but I can't help it. If I don't write it down here, most probably I need to talk it off.

I believe that in a relationship there is something far more important for MEN to do than, say, remaining faithful or showing emotional intelligence. Not that staying faithful is not important, it is of cos must sure definitely on the top 3 list. Staying faithful includes no phone sex, flirting on msn/sms... blah blah blah.

This something is noticing whether your partner has got a new hairdo, smaller tummy, wearing higher heels. If I have to ask you, "do I look different?" you know you have already blown it. The man of men will get in there first with a casual but sincere, "you look different today." I would love a man like that. Then the start of a new conversation.

Another obsession I have is make up. Yes. I don't put on 24/7 and I am confident enough to step out of the house without any because I can afford to look the way I look without it. Some women can't. My obsession is not rooted to the desire to please men. It is more of an intra-gender competition. Especially after dating this guy who can't stop commenting how good these girls on the street look with make up. I want to look better because I know I can. Read me clear -
There is no greater act of betrayal in a relationship than to express admiration for my girlfriends or YOUR female colleagues.

and... I guess you have known by now, I'm aggressive and I don't like you to tell me what to do. Maybe you can try to be the man that I may put my pride down for. If it's too much of a risk for you, I suggest better not.

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